 |
[27/12/09]
So one last time, Patrick Stewart was better than Jim Carrey but not as goot as Michael Caine.
Baggers |
 |
[20/12/09]
Spock: Sorry Jim, I have to agree with McCoy. This toupee is dead.
Baggers |
 |
[13/12/09]
Archer felt that the restaurant was lacking something. Like walls, chairs and food.
Carol |
 |
[06/12/09]
Everyone was surprised to see that indeed, the sun did shine out of the Doctor's arse.
James Allan Kynes |
 |
[29/11/09]
The humans in the crowd were less impressed with the most "massive penis in Bajor"
Kathryn |
 |
[22/11/09]
"Yeah, I basically rule the Galaxy..."
Derek |
 |
[15/11/09]
Kirk had ordered Bones to be ever alert for any hot totty the Captain might not of slept with and to report back as soon as possible.
Baggers |
 |
[08/11/09]
The reason Romulan Ale is banned.
James Allan Kynes |
 |
[01/11/09]
It's ok, the first time is always traumatic, i'm sure it will stay hard next time.
Alan |
 |
[25/10/09]
Vic, you've wined me, dined me, but you didn't mention about 69ing me...
James Allan Kynes |
 |
[18/10/09]
Star Trek weddings were becomming more popular.
James Allan Kynes |
 |
[11/10/09]
"Oh God, not again. So is all of humanity on trial for nebulous crimes again, or is it just me for a change?"
Keith |
 |
[04/10/09]
Vogager implausible Borg fighting weapon # 475: The Doctor's photonic vomit.
James Allan Kynes |
 |
[20/09/09]
Archer wasn't enjoying his night out with Max Moseley.
Keith |
 |
[13/09/09]
There were only 2 survivors of Neelix's ill thought out sprouts, beans and cabbage night
Kathryn |
 |
[06/09/09]
Commander, when the Kai said to look to the Orbs for wisdom, SHE MEANT THE ORBS OF THE PROPHETS!
James Allan Kynes |
 |
[30/08/09]
Is that Kirk's hairpiece?
Alan |
 |
[23/08/09]
While the crew were distracted by Kirk's Siberian holiday video, Spock took the opportunity to fondle McCoy's crotch.
Keith |
 |
[16/08/09]
If you cup my breasts i will be forced to tell everyone your willy is this long.
Alan |
 |
[09/08/09]
To see the full movie visit www.granny-latex-porn.com
James Allan Kynes |
 |
[02/08/09]
The two Cardassians decided to settle who went first and who got sloppy seconds through the traditional medium of a staring contest.
Keith |
 |
[26/07/09]
Even after 400 years Kraftwerk were still playing the same old songs
g0thy |
 |
[19/07/09]
"To be honest Spock it looks a little gay"
Kathryn |
 |
[12/07/09]
"What? I said I wanted to know about FISHING!"
Kathryn |
 |
[05/07/09]
Now I know why the Captain spends so much time sitting down, this chair vibrates!
James Allan Kynes |
 |
[28/06/09]
Piers Morgan consoling a BGT cometitor.
Alan |
 |
[21/06/09]
Clothes Maketh the Moron
Mark Myers |
 |
[14/06/09]
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream ...
Mark Myers |
 |
[07/06/09]
Admiral Archer: "Dammit Scotty, he was an alsatian before you transported him".
Paul Corrosion |
 |
[31/05/09]
Ironically Simon was caught torrenting episodes of Spaced...
Kahotep |
 |
[24/05/09]
Bones hoped no one would notice his trouser cough. The look on Kirk's face indicated otherwise.
g0thy the Chester Arms Boogiemeister |
 |
[17/05/09]
Singles night in the junior common room.
Alan |
 |
[10/05/09]
UK government ministers going into hiding in the jungle to get away from angry Gurka's.
Alan |
 |
[03/05/09]
For the last time I'm not Quark! We do not all look the same Lursa!
James Allan Kynes |
 |
[26/04/09]
Star Trek Babies was a huge flop.
Keith |
 |
[19/04/09]
"Sir? I think we took a wrong turn and ended up in Firefly."
Keith |
 |
[12/04/09]
Harry describes to Tom the shape of his new butt-plug
G7MSI - Retro! |
 |
[05/04/09]
Just when did i grow that spare head?
Alan |
 |
[29/03/09]
Listen to me, the Air-Con does not work even remotely, the only way to get cool is to remove all your clothes, and I'm here to help.
Alan |
 |
[22/03/09]
Captains log Stardate 6138.1:
We are now entering day seventeen of the staring contest. The female is trying to distract us by showing us her massive box.
James Allan Kynes |
 |
[15/03/09]
The Gaza strip must mean something else there.
Alan |
 |
[08/03/09]
I am here for the one they call Wesley.
James Allan Kynes |
 |
[01/03/09]
Sisko could see the paper coming for him, but knew he wouldn't be able to move in time to avoid the dreaded paper cut.
James Allan Kynes |
 |
[22/02/09]
Data's lightsabre collapsed at the most inopportune moment.
James Allan Kynes |
 |
[15/02/09]
Kirk is unimpressed with Enterprise's new urinals.
Carol |
 |
[08/02/09]
Kirk was concerned that Spock's multiple rampant rabbit charger would do him out of a job.
w7/g0thy |
 |
[01/02/09]
Archer wasn't having a good time at Prince Harry's birthday party.
Sye |
 |
[18/01/09]
Voyager's version of "The Judgement of Paris" was a somewhat easier decision to make...
Carol |
 |
[11/01/09]
'Klingon Night' at the Gay Bar was hailed a big success... four customers turned up.
Louise |
 |
[04/01/09]
"Yes, I'm a tiny man and my seat head rest appears to be on fire!"
Louise |
 |
[28/12/08]
The crew were dissapointed that George only came third on I'm a celebrity
ĜΩŦ ђ ¥ |
 |
[21/12/08]
(insert rampant rabbit joke here)
Keith |
 |
[14/12/08]
"I am Indiana Jones, I am him!"
Louise |
 |
[07/12/08]
Everyone else politely tried to ignore where Sisko's other hand was
Zelda |
 |
[30/11/08]
"You know, you look a whole lot better with the visor off" said Geordi.
Louise |
 |
[23/11/08]
'Before I started drinking I looked like Simon Pegg - now look at me'
g0thy - Alan's Overlord |
 |
[16/11/08]
Thank god G0thy's band has finished for the night.
Alan |
 |
[09/11/08]
'you take my rampant rabbit again without asking & I'll blow your head off'
(we are g0thy, resistance is futile) |
 |
[02/11/08]
Sisko pondered to himself, was letting rip with a humungous fart really the best way to clear the bridge in an emergency?
Louise |
 |
[26/10/08]
Riker wasn't overly impressed with the first images that appeared on his new High Definition TV.
Louise |
 |
[19/10/08]
The gay bar's new bouncers looked both tough and stylish, but they were doing a very poor job at imposing the minimum age requirement.
Keith |
 |
[12/10/08]
"But girls, you said wear something to blend in, not clash with the curtains!"
Louise |
 |
[05/10/08]
Fixing the light had proven to be a foolish thing, as he discovered the room was also occupied by Medusa.
Louise |
 |
[28/09/08]
My, this is a very, very big gun.
Mark Myers |
 |
[21/09/08]
Staff at the gay bar were confused when a woman came in.
Louise |
 |
[14/09/08]
Choosing to film the remake of 'Dancing In The Streets' in a UK town late on a Friday night wasn't the best idea ever.
Louise |
 |
[07/09/08]
I think I sprained it ... playing tennis.
David Dorward |
 |
[31/08/08]
Voyager's "Operation" Tournament hadn't been as fun as Nelix had promised, thought Harry, as he watched B'Elanna attempt to remove the funny bone.
Louise |
 |
[24/08/08]
You say that on your planet you have a Blue Man group? Your ways are strange to us!
Mark Myers |
 |
[17/08/08]
So Churchill, you think you could save me money on my Starship insurance?
James Allan Kynes |
 |
[10/08/08]
Captain Kirk had loaded up Spock's iPod with his own special version of Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds.
David Dorward |
 |
[03/08/08]
"Ahh, kiss me you damn fool - You know you want to!"
Louise |
 |
[27/07/08]
Damn you Spiderman!
Mark Myers |
 |
[20/07/08]
At a recent Trek convention, a member of the audience suffers an adverse reaction after being shown a sneak preview of the new Star Trek XI movie.
Louise |
 |
[13/07/08]
Sisko was having second thoughts about having a vasectomy
g0thy the forgetfu |
 |
[06/07/08]
Deanna: &quopt;Give me back the chocolates ensign, or what you did last night is all over Ten Forward!"
Louise |
 |
[29/06/08]
Somebody put acid in the ready-brek again
g0thy the red lion bassmaster |
 |
[22/06/08]
it was best to stand upwind of Archer after curry night in the mess.
g0thy the black bull boogyman |
 |
[15/06/08]
does this uniform make my bum look big?
g0thy the white horse rock god |
 |
[08/06/08]
"You dancing?"
"Who's asking?"
Fran |
 |
[01/06/08]
Founder Arm Wrestling
Female Founder: You become the table.
Odo: No! YOU become the table!
Female Founder: No! It is your turn!
David Dorward |
 |
[25/05/08]
Yar: Computer, replace opponent with Wesley Crusher
David Dorward |
 |
[18/05/08]
And here we have one of the deleted scenes from the adult version of Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory...
Louise |
 |
[11/05/08]
If the heart attack didn't kill her, the view she was about to get in a couple of seconds when T'Pol's jumpsuit split definitely would.
Keith |
 |
[04/05/08]
"I'm to sexy for my borg"
Kathryn |
 |
[27/04/08]
Odo was pleasantly surprised at his "well done for shagging Kira" party
Kathryn |
 |
[20/04/08]
"Me and the other guys were talking and we just thought you should know...purple really isn't your colour"
Kathryn |
 |
[13/04/08]
My mind to your mind, your thoughts to my thoughts... You will go to my next party at the gay bar... You really enjoy my parties... they are very "happening" events.. you will tell the rest of the crew how much you want to go...
Zelda |
 |
[06/04/08]
Starting the intergalactic space-ship invented by Colin Pillinger involved lighting the blue touchpaper and standing back - well back.
g0thy the dangerously confused |
 |
[30/03/08]
"and if I tip it upside down it says "Resistance is futile""
Kathryn |
 |
[23/03/08]
"Well I guess that's one part of Bashir that's not engineered"
Kathryn |
 |
[16/03/08]
Big Issue - Buy the Big Issue
g0thy |
 |
[09/03/08]
The Vulcan cure for constipation was concidered cruel by some
g0thy waz 'ere |
 |
[02/03/08]
The Vulcan simply could not believe his eyes. Surely simple hygiene was not too much to ask of a species?
Mark Myers |
 |
[24/02/08]
You take the zit between your fingers, like so, take aim, and ...
Mark Myers |
 |
[17/02/08]
First thing in the morning without her makeup on Kira wasn't so attractive.
g0thy - founder of the jedi |
 |
[10/02/08]
No Miles! We can't take any more of your disco!
David Dorward |
 |
[03/02/08]
Venturing into the public lavatories on Qo'Nos was not an exercise for the faint-hearted.
Keith |
 |
[27/01/08]
The panel for this year's "Dragon's Den" is the toughest yet...
Carol |
 |
[20/01/08]
"Commander, surely 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' is not a rational means of selecting Away Team members?"
Deggsy |
 |
[13/01/08]
Really? You mean we both made our outfits out of curtains??
Zelda |
 |
[06/01/08]
The shortage of beds on the Enterprise was starting to be a major problem.
Louise |
 |
[30/12/07]
The mystery of where Q got his fashion sense from was finally solved...
Keith |
 |
[23/12/07]
none of the crew knew how to use the klingon sex toy
g0thy the White Hart Rock God |
 |
[16/12/07]
The California sun had clearly taken its toll on Posh and David Beckham...
Derek |
 |
[09/12/07]
Will the next England manager come out from behind that rock!
Alan |
 |
[02/12/07]
The Commander realised too late that some joker had activated the cloaking device on the walls of the toilet...
Deggsy |
 |
[25/11/07]
"Finding Nemo stage show planned by Star Trek veterans!"
Louise |
 |
[18/11/07]
It was Firefly night at the Enterprise sci-fi society, and Trip was very disappointed that T'Pol hadn't dressed as Inara like he'd suggested. He was pretty chuffed with his Mal costume, though.
Keith |
 |
[11/11/07]
Chakotay thought it would be amusing to walk into the Red Lion Kidlington and shout out 'Tossers'
g0thy political advisor to the Grim Reaper |
 |
[28/10/07]
blah blah GAY BAR blah blah (you get the picture)
g0thy the reiterant |
 |
[21/10/07]
"Damnit Father, I told you this was the gay bar!"
Keith |
 |
[14/10/07]
McCoy knew it was a bad idea to let Kirk choose the nurses' uniforms.
Richard Lyth |
 |
[07/10/07]
It's OK Malcolm, I've blindfolded her, so you can have your fun without her bursting out laughing.
David Dorward |
 |
[30/09/07]
The alien Janeway doppleganger realised a little too late that he hadn't quite paid full attention to some of the minor details.
Louise |
 |
[23/09/07]
"Awwww, why the long, bumpy, oatmeal-coloured face?"
Deggsy |
 |
[09/09/07]
Little did they know how Picard longed to try on the nurse's uniform
Kathryn |
 |
[02/09/07]
Despite Uhuru trying the doggy-style position, the boys in the gay disco were too busy playing with the dancing lights to pay her any attention.
Paul Harper |
 |
[26/08/07]
Phlox prayed there would be no follow through this time.
Mark Myers |
 |
[19/08/07]
Oh bugger, they got the toupee order wrong again....!
Fran |
 |
[12/08/07]
'So this will get rid of the nasty taste?'
g0thy Phrenologist to Royalty |
 |
[05/08/07]
"Captain, I think I've located the hull breach..."
Derek |
 |
[29/07/07]
No Guinan, only Jean-Luc gets to play with them.
g0thy the chubby chaser |
 |
[22/07/07]
NO, you dont want to go to London, Boris is standing.
Alan |
 |
[15/07/07]
The fallout from this year's "Trek Pride" was worse than usual...
Paul Harper |
 |
[08/07/07]
Stop touching me like that! I'm only two!
James Allan Kynes |
 |
[01/07/07]
Anne Robinson's latest facelift didn't go quite to plan
g0thy drinker of the european beer mountain |
 |
[24/06/07]
It doesn't matter how many flashing lights you put on it, or how much the presenter smiles, even in the 24th century, an anal probe is still an anal probe
Paul Harper |
 |
[17/06/07]
The crew present their suggestion for the 2012 London Olympics logo.
Keith |
 |
[10/06/07]
"you're the one that I want - ooh ooh ooh"
g1thy the promoted |
 |
[03/06/07]
will you pay attention to the script and quit staring at Jeri's bum
Martin |
 |
[27/05/07]
Curry Night on the Defiant proved disastrous...
Deggsy |
 |
[20/05/07]
"It's urination Jim, but not as we know it."
Keith |
 |
[13/05/07]
When your finished with that big red thing can you attend to my needs?
Alan |
 |
[06/05/07]
Shran always liked to finish his battles with a big musical number
Kathryn |
 |
[29/04/07]
Even after 300 years Simon and Garfunkle still didn't see eye-to-eye.
g0thy the skiver |
 |
[08/04/07]
The Klingon version of Take That killed their Robbie Williams rather than let him go...
deggsy |
 |
[01/04/07]
"I was told we were wearing brown today!"
Kathryn |
 |
[25/03/07]
The early warning signs of James T. Kirk Syndrome: when the sufferer has an overwhelming urge to take their shirt off in front of females.
Zelda |
 |
[18/03/07]
"When I find out who pinched my Sooty puppet I'll assimilate them"
yht0g the backwards |
 |
[04/03/07]
You didn't know that Chakotay appeared in an episode of DS9, did you?
David Dorward |
 |
[25/02/07]
The Enterprise No Smoking group held an intervention during which they planned to take Data's ashtray away from him.
David Dorward |
 |
[18/02/07]
Kirk scanned the readout in horror, realising too late the cause of the inversion; too much Ready brek.
Mark Myers |
 |
[11/02/07]
The Jolly Green Giant starts a new career as a cage fighter.
g0thy the ? |
 |
[04/02/07]
Quick! Grab her before she sings!
David Dorward |
 |
[28/01/07]
The cortical stimulator didn't cheer bashir as much on his head as it did when he put it on 'little Julien'
Andy Bollan |
 |
[21/01/07]
Data soon realised that it wasn't always appropriate to demonstrate how fully functional he was.
Kathryn |
 |
[14/01/07]
The Vulcan dating technique was a little formal
Kathryn |
 |
[07/01/07]
Archer was dissapointed that the alien poledancing club had a unique way to prevent the customers doing the five finger knucle shuffle.
g0thy the flatulent |
 |
[31/12/06]
Janeway didn't know what the ancient 20th centuary tradition of goosing was, but she was about to find out.
g0thy the sprout eater |
 |
[24/12/06]
Introducing Mr & Mrs Neck and their son Ben D.
g0thy the rock god |
 |
[17/12/06]
"I swear, Sulu, you show up again in the same outfit as me, and I'll stab ya!"
Derek |
 |
[10/12/06]
Phlox stood helpless as his two captors forceably made him show them a human tradition... something called "fisting in a threesome"
Matt Hurst |
 |
[26/11/06]
Tense, nervous, headache... ?
Mark Myers |
 |
[19/11/06]
"Seriously it's *this* big"
Kathryn |
 |
[12/11/06]
visiting madame tussauds she found the waxwork of Riker more
lifelike than the real thing, and it was better at acting as
well.
g0thy |
 |
[05/11/06]
Everyone politely said nothing when Shatner's wig began to melt under the stage lights.
Keith |
 |
[29/10/06]
"I don't know how Dr Phlox got his fat @rse up there, but we'll need a photon torpedo to get him out".
g0thy |
 |
[22/10/06]
Tom was getting fed up having to keep repairing B'Elanna's rampant rabbit
g0thy |
 |
[15/10/06]
O'Brien;'(mumble mumble mumble feckin rounders mumble mumble mumble)'
AndyB |
 |
[08/10/06]
Picard knew smoking was the done thing for the era being simulated by the holodeck ... he just missed the bit about the cigarettes.
David Dorward |
 |
[01/10/06]
At the auditions for the new Doctor Strange movie, one of the hopefuls realised he should have made more of an effort.
Richard Lyth |
 |
[24/09/06]
Archer kept focussing on the horizon in a vain attampt at keeping T'Pol from noticiing he'd pissed himself.
Paul Harper |
 |
[17/09/06]
What? Speak Up! Eh? Get your own ruddy Earl Grey...
Paul Harper |
 |
[10/09/06]
despite Rom and Quark's warnings Nog was suprised that the 20 year old nymphomaniac Orion Slave Girl he met in the chatroom wasn't quite as her description.
g0thy |
 |
[03/09/06]
Geordi and Data decided to take advantage of the new Civil Partnerships
Kathryn |
 |
[27/08/06]
The pilot episode of Countdown saw Carol Vorderman's role quite differently
Vinnie IX |
 |
[20/08/06]
Phlox selflessly tended to the Captain's wounds before dealing with the kebab skewer sticking out of his own head.
Keith |
 |
[13/08/06]
Since Gerry Anderson took over the Star Trek franchise fans complained they could see the strings
g0thy |
 |
[06/08/06]
Richard and Judy celebrate the end of their 135327th and last show.
Paul Harper |
 |
[30/07/06]
And tonight on Wogan we have three of the cast from Startrek TNG.
g0thy |
 |
[23/07/06]
Kirk: "Spock....you're turning into a...penguin. Stop it."
Keith |
 |
[16/07/06]
Archer is disappointed as Trip explains that when T'Pol takes off her tight catsuit, her boobs sag *this* low.
Paul Harper |
 |
[09/07/06]
"Don't eat that bit of snot commander, I can use it in a soup."
Kathryn |
 |
[02/07/06]
Mr Poll, thats the 250th time you have booked me, can i go off the pitch now?
Alan Crowder |
 |
[25/06/06]
"You know what, love, wood is *so* not us..."
Paul Harper |
 |
[18/06/06]
After Captain Kirk's beta test session, the fembot control console was redesigned with four extra knobs.
Paul Harper |
 |
[11/06/06]
"If you're cancelled and you know it, clap your hands.."
Derek |
 |
[04/06/06]
The old "sneezing while your head is inside a condom" trick always amused Janeway, and made getting the condom off again afterwards rather easier.
Paul Harper |
 |
[28/05/06]
"I appear to have a Ferengi growing out of my arse!"
Vinnie IX |
 |
[21/05/06]
Riker: "Now this piece has been in my family for ages, and I'd like the Antiques Stellar Roadshow to give me a valuation for insurance purposes."
Sexy Lady |
 |
[14/05/06]
Spock suddenly remembered that he had, indeed, put a fork in the spoon drawer at home.
Dewoh |
 |
[07/05/06]
The replicator still needed a bit of work - he'd only ordered a non-fat cafe latte.
Kathryn |
 |
[30/04/06]
Now to upload you back to Voyager.
Error 404: Ship not found???
James Allan Kynes |
 |
[23/04/06]
Quark: Where is this relationship going?
Odo: Can't talk, watching football.
Joost |
 |
[16/04/06]
Worf:(to Abdomen) 'Engage.'
AndyB |
 |
[09/04/06]
Kirk's angst increased as the child-proof cap on his bottle of Viagra defeated him once again...
Derek |
 |
[02/04/06]
Even the Vulcans and the Andorians didn't know what to do with an overheating Xbox 360.
Alex P |
 |
[26/03/06]
B'Elanna: I should never have tried to lift your hairdryer by myself - the Doc says I can't go back to work for a week!
David Dorward |
 |
[19/03/06]
Leeta and Bashir look on in horror at their rivals' routine in "Come Space Dancing" and realise they should have worked harder.
Songspinner |
 |
[12/03/06]
Riker's re-enactment of the death scene in The Lion King was modern, innovative, and critically acclaimed.
Zelda |
 |
[05/03/06]
Scotty was inconsolable, despite reassurances that the mustache *could* be stuck back on again using some of Jim's wig glue.
Paul Harper |
 |
[26/02/06]
It was immediately clear who hadn't been turning up for rehersals.
Alex P |
 |
[19/02/06]
Janeway prepares herself for a wholly inappropriate Basic Instinct moment
David Dorward |
 |
[12/02/06]
Err... brother? I'm sure that one of these will dissolve the superglue without melting our faces.
David Dorward |
 |
[05/02/06]
Picard pretends not to notice Riker fondling his backside
Paul Harper |
 |
[29/01/06]
Spock called upon all his Vulcan mind powers to try to ignore where Chappel was, absent-mindedly touching herself.
AndyB |
 |
[22/01/06]
See, I told you hoodies were dangerous!
Vinnie IX |
 |
[15/01/06]
Neelix was getting desperate for a replacement for egg whites.
Vinnie IX |
 |
[08/01/06]
What happens when you give an honest reply to "does my bum look big in this?"
Kathryn |
 |
[01/01/06]
Kirk had ignored the signs saying "Do not feed the mad scientist"....
Vinnie iX |
